Life is what you make it

A truism, and a line from a lyric. Nice song, if I ever get to record it. If I ever get to do anything I want to do.

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Don't read further if you value your sanity. This is self serving drivel.
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I don't like the 'human condition'. Especially my 'human condition'. Compared to the vast majority on the planet I have nothing to be upset about. I'm not starving, I don't live in a desert with no water, I'm not being ethnically cleansed. I have a house - ergo I have money, but I don't. No sense to that statement, but that's the way it is, and the way I'm feeling.

I've always lived from hand to mouth, 'cause I didn't want to get into the debt trap, but here I am balancing on a knife edge. If I don't get rid of this ... pile before the end of July I'm stuffed, and if I do I'm well off, in that I'll have money - but I'll have nowhere to live. How fucking stupid is that?

In theory all is peachy. Sell the house, be rich for a short time (remembering not to go totally stupid with the money - even though recording an album in the Bahamas would be nice, and a holiday in the US, and, and) and then what?

Then I don't know. The plan is France, but where? No idea. Getting on the boat and then driving until one finds somewhere nice is actually daftness personified. But probably just what we'll do. With six cats.

Oh, God help me! Oops, I'm an atheist. Or is that agnostic. Dunno. God?

*runs away screaming, looking for nice padded cell*